Miss Bennett in the Bay

“And all along the Rockies you can feel it in the air, from Telluride to Boulder down below….”

It’s true. Nothing beats a white Colorado Christmas. I’m sitting here in my pajamas at my parents’ house, watching the snow peacefully falling. We’ve got about 3-4 inches I’d say, and it’s still coming down. I have nowhere to go, no lesson plans to write, no papers to grade: just a nice, peaceful day.

After we got back to Colorado on Saturday, I’ve been trying to catch up on my sleep. (That didn’t work out so well on Saturday; we were up for about 22 hours that day because of our travel schedule.) My goal for break is to get rid of the dark circles that are perpetually under my eyes these days. I will need this extra sleep to get my students to proficiency after break. In the last Dolphin Memo of 2007, my principal reminds us that after break, we have exactly 68 days before the CST. No pressure or anything.

Jess and I have made an action plan for break- all the things we need to/would like to get done before we return to our classrooms in January. We both are finally in a place where we are not just treading water anymore. We actually can do all the work that we need to do to make significant academic gains with our students. My dedicated readers will recall that for a while there I was in a very bad place in terms of my teaching. I hated getting up every morning, I hated writing lesson plans, and I hated that my students weren’t learning anything. I have, through some miracle, managed to pull myself out of that bad place, and I actually find myself missing my students during break. How odd. They showered me with chocolates and other teacher-y gifts on Friday. The most outrageous gift came from E’s mom, who proudly walked into the classroom during the Holiday Party and presented me with a Victoria’s Secret bag. I somewhat gingerly opened the gift, not knowing what to think about this. Inside the bag was a beautiful red-and-white polka dot silk blouse. My jaw dropped open and I looked at E’s mom who had a big goofy smile on her face. My other students wanted me to put on the shirt right then and there, but it wouldn’t have fit over my three-sizes-too-big Anthony P. Russo Staff shirt. I tried it on when I got home, and it fit perfectly. I also noticed the price tag: $58! I really, really hope that E’s mom got that thing on sale. Like, 90% off clearance sale. E’s mom gave me a big hug, as did the other moms who were in the room helping with the party. I felt like I had walked into an alternate universe. Near strangers were giving me hugs as if I were an old friend and wishing me Feliz Navidad and saying how they can’t wait for school to start again. What a long way I have come.

In other news, for my birthday Scott gave me Tales from the Teachers’ Lounge by Robert Wilder. It is absolutely hilarious and I recommend it for anyone who is a teacher or who has ever known a teacher. Great, great stuff. A few times I’ve laughed so hard I was crying. Seriously. Buy this book.

Tonight, I was reminded that my students are kids and not just representations of the achievement gap. We had the first ever Russo Holiday Program, in which we sang “Deck the Halls” and “Feliz Navidad.” Because the cafeteria was so crowded with parents, the second graders stayed in our classrooms until it was time for us to perform. I pulled up some holiday coloring pages on the internet for the kids to color while we were waiting. I have never seen my students so riled up and excited. They were coloring like demons, asking every five seconds for a different picture. Scott managed to make it through the holiday traffic for the program, and walked into my classroom amidst the chaos. I had my back to the door so I didn’t see him until he walked up behind me and said, “Hello, Ms. Bennett.”

I jumped. Then I looked up. “Hello, Mr. Williams.” I could feel myself blushing. The kids have no idea that I have a boyfriend and I’d really like it if they didn’t find out. It’s one thing to have a fiance or a husband when you are a teacher. It’s entirely another to have a boyfriend whom you live with out of wedlock. I busied myself in finding coloring sheets on the computer, but of course the kids started asking questions.

V: Who’s that?
Me: Oh, that’s Mr. Williams. He is a friend of mine. Mr. Wiliams, this is V.
Scott: Hi V, it’s nice to meet you.
V: Hi, Mr. Williams.

Then, as V was walking away, I could hear her brother asking her who that was.
V: Oh, that’s Mr. Williams. (In a tone of voice that said, “duh, of course it’s Mr. Williams, don’t you know Mr. Williams?”)

The kids were very cute in their festive clothing and snowflake headbands that we made. After the program, we congregated in the classroom for a makeshift photo shoot. I found myself being pulled into many different pictures with children being taken by people I barely knew. It is a marvel to me what a celebrity you are when you become a teacher. I suppose that my parents used to do the same things with my teachers when I was in school, but I don’t really remember. Scott tells me that I didn’t seem at all bewildered or overwhelmed, which is interesting because I felt both of those things the entire time. I think there is some sort of “teacher zone” that you enter when you enter the world of a school. You’re not yourself anymore; you’re judge, leader, instructor, friend, mentor, decision-maker, consequence-deliverer, and adult. I never imagined that I would become all of these things, but once I got used to it I kind of stopped thinking about it. I can’t believe how far I’ve come since August, but more about that later. For now, it’s grading and then to bed.

In other news, I turn 23 tomorrow. I can’t believe that either. One year ago, I was sitting at home in Boulder getting snowed in under 2 feet of snow. Now, I’m grading tests to see if my 21 second graders can put commas in the right place. Weird.

Every time I have a spare moment to sit and reflect, I do nothing but marvel at how up and down this really is. I have a mental scale in my head of how things are going. It goes from -10 (I am walking into the principal’s office and quitting today) to 10 (this is the best job in the world and I will never, ever quit), with 0 meaning total ambivalence towards it all.

Monday was about a -7. Today was a 4. Big difference, eh?

Last night we had TFA ice skating down on the Embarcadero, sponsored by Wachovia. We could bring two of our students to ice skate for free. So, Ms. S and I hauled our students to downtown San Francisco for a wonderful evening of winter cheer. Well, about as winter as the bay area can get anyway (it was like 50 degrees- but I digress).

None of our students had ever been ice skating before. It was such an adventure for them- driving around after school with their teachers, getting to eat food in the car, being in the big city. They had so much fun. My student J couldn’t stop talking about how he wants his mom to take him to the ice rink in San Jose.

Last night was exactly the mental gatorade I needed to pull me through that funk. It was nice to be with the kids in a much less formal setting and actually get to know them a little bit. They were also super cute when they fell asleep on the way home.

As a result, I started my day today feeling much better about everything. I’ve started cracking down on my students hard for speaking out of turn, because that was getting a little ridiculous in the classroom. So now, every time they speak with out raising their hand (which is usually some kind of shout at the top of their lungs), they pull their card. This afternoon I started saying, “What happens when you call out?” And they say, “I pull my card.” Yes. You do. So stop doing it.

As a result of this new smackdown, one of the students ended on black today. Black means sent to principal. I’ve never had a student end on black before. Usually when they get to red (call home) they get it together long enough to finish the day. Evidently this was not enough for C, even though I spoke to his mom on the phone the day before. Well, I didn’t really feel comfortable sending him to the principal just because he’d been talking in class- I had originally intended to reserve that punishment for severe cases like fighting. So I sent him to the next door teacher instead- another first year second grade teacher whom I get along very well with. She gave him a stern talking to (only like his 5th talking to of the day) and made him write me a note. Some context for this: I was originally going to take C ice skating with me as well, but I got a note from my sub from Monday about how bad he was in class. I figured if he was bad enough for the sub to mention his name specifically, then, no, he doesn’t get to go ice skating.

His note:

Dear Ms, Bennett
I’m sorry that I was being bad in your class I can do beter tomoro. Are you going to take me some plase alse if I behave? Again. I am so so sory.
Sinsirly
C

I spoke with his mom on the phone before coming home today to see if she had any ideas for what might possibly motivate him to behave in class. She says that she doesn’t understand his behavior either, and she doesn’t know what to do. She is very interested in his success, though, which is encouraging. One thing that really worries me is that she mentions that he used to like reading in first grade and now he doesn’t like it any more. I’m going to put him on an individualized behavior plan tomorrow. He and I will grade his behavior together after every hour or so. Maybe if he can see his progress on his desk he will get excited again.

Today I am taking a sick day. So, at this very moment, instead of scrambling to get the kids out the door to recess, I am laying in bed writing this blog post. It is fabulous.

Well, if you consider the stomach flu to be fabulous.

I’ve been sick all weekend, but I thought I was going to be ok when I started to feel better yesterday afternoon. Turns out that was not true. I think I need one more day of rest and then tomorrow I can face my students again.

One thing that really frustrates me about this job is that I can’t just call in and then get back into bed. No, I still have to throw on some clothes, drive to work, and make sure that my lesson plan is there for my substitute. It was all I could do to not lose it while I was there this morning. As I was waiting for the copy machine, I ran into my students G and L. I decided to tell them I was going to be leaving and to ask them to make sure that all the other students behave themselves for the substitute (which is probably wishful thinking, but I’ll talk about that later).

G and L speak at the same time: But E never behaves for a substitute! And neither does M!
Me (thinking that of course E doesn’t behave for a sub, he doesn’t behave for me): Well, maybe you guys can make sure that everybody else is on their best behavior. Be models for the rest of the class, ok?
G nods, while L interjects: You also need to move V and J! They talk so much I can’t concentrate! It gives me a headache!
Me: Ok, I’ll take that into consideration.

L said the part about the headache with such adult-like emphasis that I couldn’t help smiling. The thing with L is that she claims that whomever she’s sitting by is bothering her. I don’t know what to do with that. I think she really just wants to sit by her friends all the time, but I’m not that stupid. (more…)