Miss Bennett in the Bay

Does anybody else out there ever randomly get hit with a terrible case of homesickness? It’s funny how it can sneak up on you sometimes.

Like one time, last year, I was driving home on the 101 North and feeling fine after a decent Friday workday. I was kind of on autopilot, like normal since I have a reverse commute and there isn’t much traffic. All of a sudden, I realized there were palm trees next to the highway. It totally freaked me out and for the entire weekend I was left with this awful feeling that I was in the totally wrong place and I needed to get back to my wonderful Colorado foothills home.

Normally, I appreciate those palm trees. But that day, I wanted a Colorado Blue Spruce instead.

My most recent bout of nostalgia for my ancestral homeland came yesterday morning during my normal get-ready-for-work routine. I always eat my bowl of cereal in front of the computer at 6:30 in the morning. I check my emails, troll my usual blogs, and read Google News. This is my little way of jump-starting my mind in peace. (I’m not really a morning person- my first alarm goes off at 5:15 and I don’t usually leave my apartment until around 7 because it takes me that long to get up and get ready.)

Anyway, in my inbox, I had an alumni e-newsletter from my alma matter. I usually just skim through these things- I enjoy seeing what’s going on with my old university, but I don’t really have time to read carefully. For some reason, yesterday I decided to actually read the full thing. This edition was about the recent class of 2009 graduation, complete with pictures and outstanding student bios. Well, naturally I started thinking about my own graduation two years ago (it feels more like a lifetime) and all of a sudden, I realized I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I wanted to go home. I wanted to be able to hike the Boulder Flatirons again, breathe the clean mountain air, and give my mom and dad a hug. I really didn’t want to drive over to east San Jose and see the gross, ugly, dead hills they call “mountains” here. I was tired of the smell of the bay, tired of the morning fog, tired of having the same kind of weather all year round.

Man, was it ever hard to pull myself out of that funk. The only thing that uplifted my spirits yesterday was a spontaneous act of kindness from my students. Yesterday afternoon we did a project where we made our own imprint fossils with clay. Naturally, the clay got all over their desks, but I had accepted that fact and was prepared to clean them off myself after school. As I’m wrangling the students into finishing the projects and getting ready to go home, D comes up to me.

D: Ms. Bennett, would you like me to clean off the desks for you so that you won’t have to do it by yourself after school?
Me (in my head): Wha….?
Me (out loud): Yes! Here, use these wipes.

Soon, all of my students who had already finished their projects were pitching in to clean up the mess. The desks were sparkling by the time they were done. It brought a tear to my eye to see them working together so respectfully- maybe I have made an impact on them, after all. That makes all the homesickness in the world worth it.

Man, if every month was like the month of May, I would be a teacher forever.

No, seriously. This month is the best month I’ve had so far as a corps member. I like to think that this is more than just situational- that I personally have something to do with it. First, let’s examine the situational reasons why May rocks:

1. The CST is OVER! No more stressing, test-prepping, and worrying. Now, my teaching is just about my students and what they still need to learn.

2. The students are older, more mature, and more self-sufficient. At the beginning of second grade, it feels like the kids can’t do anything. Now, they work together independently for (gasp!) 30 to 45 minutes at a time!

3. 4 weeks of school left. No explanation needed.

Now, certainly, these situational things are great. Anybody can understand why you would feel better during the last weeks of school.

BUT last year at this time was not such a piece of cake. What has made this year different?

1. During the year, I actually taught my students things in a way they could master them. Now I don’t have to spend the last weeks of school killing myself to meet the Big Goal. (Certainly some re-teach is necessary, but my students have already met the goal this year. Last year we were at about a 71% going into the last month of school, whereas this year we’re at an 82%.)

2. MY CLASSROOM IS ACTUALLY ORGANIZED! I cannot emphasize enough how awesome this is! I have been reading The Cornerstone and it has completely revolutionized my mindset and approach to my classroom. I can actually see my desk! Like, all the time, not after I’ve spent 3 hours cleaning it off on a Friday night. (Side note: if you have papers all over your desk, frequently lose important things, and don’t know where things are, you need to read this book. Just do it.)

3. In that same vein, I have been reading a lot of professional development type books and thinking a lot about myself as a professional. I started with What Great Teachers Do Differently and it, too, has changed my mindset and approach to my job. I go to work feeling positive and excited to be there. It certainly makes the job better.

My only regret about my time in Teach for America is that I was unable to approach every day like I am now. I have grown so much. I doubt that if I were to meet my pre-TFA self I would even know what to say to her. That former person just didn’t have the energy to be the person I am now. Certainly there is no point in beating myself up about this; I could not have done any more than I did.

So, in looking forward, I know I can better impact my students next year based on what I have learned in the two previous years. In addition, I want to continue building Teach for America’s mission. That’s why I’ve applied to be a Collaboration Team Leader with the Bay Area staff next year. This person leads a small group of corps members once a month to help them develop as professionals. This job sounds awesome to me- I hope I can have this opportunity! I won’t know for a few weeks whether this is in the cards for me. Even if it’s not, I am making it a personal goal of mine to learn as much as I can and lead as much as I can in the next few years. I really feel like this is what I’m meant to do- and as we used to say in college, go big or go home!

There are exactly 25 more days of school.

The CST is over. The days are warmer. And the children are going completely crazy.

Case in point: on Tuesday we were out with our Sports 4 Kids coach for an extended play as a reward for finishing the test. Jess and I brought our classes out together (since the break was as much for us as it was for the kids) and we were enjoying having a little relaxation time. Suddenly, a group of about 8 of my girls came up to us surrounding this small child, who appeared to be about two. Jess and I exchange skeptical glances.

My students: Ms. Bennett, we found a pre-schooler!
Me: What?
Jess: Where?
My students: On the playground!

We turn towards the building, where the pre-school teacher is just taking her students in from their afternoon recess. She shakes her head and shrugs; this random little girl does not belong to her.

My students: Let’s play with her!
Jess: Girls, stop surrounding her!
Me: I guess we should take her to the office…
Jess: Where is your mom?
Little girl: My mom is at work.
Jess: Well who are you with?
Little girl: I can’t remember.
Me (in my head): Oh, here we go.
Me (out loud): Well, come to the office with us.

We finally manage to break her from the grasp of my students (who I think were disappointed that they didn’t get to have a real-life baby doll to play with) and walk towards the office. Thankfully, her dad was there and the little girl had just managed to slip from his sight.

I’ll tell you one thing about this job. It’s never boring, that’s for sure.